When I was in junior high school, the teachers voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair."

"I'm not handsome in the classical sense. The eyes droop, the mouth is crooked, the teeth aren't straight, the voice sounds like a Mafioso pallbearer, but somehow it all works."

"Once is a man's life, for one mortal moment, he must make a grab for immorality; if not, he has not lived."

Success is usually the culmination of controlling failure.

"I am a sensitive writer, actor and director. Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager."