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I was a 14-year-old boy for 30 years.
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"Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after."
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"Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day."
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It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.
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You always pass failure on the way to success.
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