I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well."

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.