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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility."
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"UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse."
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"SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death."
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"TWICE, adv. Once too often."
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"SUCCESS, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows."
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